Rant: Dressing for Unseasonable Weather

Listen, we feel you. We’re sick of talking about the weather too. At this point, we’re seriously thinking about starting a class action lawsuit and make Punxsutawney “Fibber” Phil rue the (Groundhog) day he ever missed his shadow. Last time we’re ever going to listen to a rodent. So yes, we appreciate that it’s confusing to be donning your Canada Goose in the Easter Parade, but this is no excuse for some of the sartorial disasters we’ve been spotting around the city.


You’re telling us. 

Sandals + Snow = mortal enemies 

Thankfully the days of trudging through snowbanks in our Sorels seem to be behind us (until October, at least). While this may seem like a sign to call up your pedicurist and break out your new sandals, but please, for the love of all things holy, don’t. Use this as a chance to wear your suede booties without fear of slush. Sport your spindliest stilettos and stare straight ahead – there’s no ice in sight! But when Mother Nature plays an April Fool’s joke on us and delivers flurries in the “springtime” maybe skip the gladiator sandals.  
Cute look from our style icon.
Who wears short shorts (in 10 degrees)? 
Raise your hand if you’re sick of wearing black tights? While we’re eternally grateful to Joe Fresh for keeping us stocked up on affordable, durable stockings all winter long, we are sooo ready to show some skin. That being said, we also realize that immediate gratification is a plague destroying the fabric of our society. There is nothing more infuriating than seeing a pair of Daisy Dukes atop pasty white legs the very day the temperature hits double digits. Start with some bare ankles and slowly work your way up. While you’re at it, invest in some self-tanner for the (20 degree plus) day you debut that pretty little sundress you picked up in January.

Nice day for tanning, bro. 
A little jacket wouldn’t kill ya. 
In high school we remember asserting our independence by refusing to zip up our winter coats or wear toques. As adults, we’ve suffered through enough bouts of flu to realize how idiotic this is. We’ll give people the benefit of being caught off guard (we’ll get to this more later) by the temperature to excuse why they’re shivering in their jean jacket waiting for the streetcar. However, in this unpredictable April we encourage you to borrow an autumn style trick and layer, layer, layer. Throw a chubby knit sweater on under your jean jacket, if you’re insistent on packing away the parka. Unlike weight loss, it’s always easier to lose some layers than add them on. 

Saturday night steez.

“Always prepared.” The Boy Scouts of America & you
We’ve got a crazy idea: let’s all adopt new New Year’s resolutions. How about we resolve to check the weather forecast before getting dressed in the morning? You know, the weather forecast; the thing you can find on the news. Or on your phone, the Internet, in the newspaper or on the radio. The greatest thing about this is that you’ll stop having people stare at you in disbelief on your morning commute or suffer the indignity of having us write a blog post making fun of you, ever again. Happy spring!

Happy trails!

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