Rave: Academy Awards 2013

How did everyone enjoy the Tony Awards last night? Juuuust kidding. As if M’Obama would ever get all dressed up to present Best Musical. There was a whole lot of singing last night though, so you can understand our confusion. We’ll get to that in a minute. Big ups to the FLOTUS for using this opportunity to chat about the importance of the arts.  


So, the Academy Awards. They were long, but what else is new. Host Seth MacFarlane tried his best but it all felt quite lacklustre and a teeny bit misogynistic? Whatever, that is a debate best left for Vice Magazine; we’re here to talk about celebrities. Let’s get to it. 


The Dresses!

There was a whole lotta strapless happening on the red carpet last night. We suppose the Oscars aren’t the place to take a sartorial risk, but this year seemed a lot tamer than in the past. Where was Bjork when you needed her? That being said, there were a few stand-outs. 




Best Actress nominee Naomi Watts went with a bit of a riskier choice with her sparkly Armani Prive gown. The colour and cut-out were just a little bit futuristic (in the best way).  




Charlize Theron slayed us in her Christian Dior Haute Couture dress. The tailoring, coupled with her short hair, was a strapless dress we could really get behind. Plus, it was white and didn’t remind us of a wedding dress (ahem, Jennifer Lawrence). Success!

We were into Amanda Seyfried’s Alexander McQueen gown, particularly the subtle colour and pattern, along with a high neck. Her hair could’ve been a bit better, but all in all, it was a good showing. 




America’s Sweetheart looked damn fine in Elie Saab last night. It was sheer and sexy, but in a classy, Oscar-appropriate way. Way to go, Sandra Bullock. As usual.




We absolutely adored Sally Field’s red Valentino gown. The colour was great, the detailing around the chest was flattering… all of it, was a delight. We almost forgot about her making out with Seth MacFarlane. 



Now, this was a contentious dress. Anne Hathaway seemed to be following the Gwyneth Paltrow Oscar check-list (Pale pink? Check. Satin? Check. Diamonds? Check.) but her Prada had chest darting that could take an eye out. The dress’s real appeal was the back and the double-whammy of decoration — a sash and necklace. 


The Musical is Back! 




From start to finish, this year’s show was jam-packed with musical numbers. Some missed the mark (sorry, boob song), but we loved Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron’s Ginger & Fred dance number. It would’ve been better if they’d done a little Ginuwine at the end, but whatever. 




We aren’t really sure why Chicago is supposed to still be relevant. A song AND the cast presents? That’s a bit much. Catherine Zeta-Jones looked killer, and her dance moves brought us right back to 2002, but next time… maybe a bit more rehearsal time? If you’re going to lip-synch at the Oscars, at least do it well. 


Kudos to the cast of Les Miserables for giving us goosebumps. Actually, make that kudos to Samantha Barks for just blowing it out of the water last night. Is this what people sound like on stage in the West End? Because, buy us a ticket to London, stat. 




Best memoriam of all time? YEP! Barbara Streisand sings “The Way We Were” and we can die happy now, thanks. Also, anyone else notice the publicist who was included this year? Mad props.


The Winners!

“Is Ben Affleck having a stroke?” – text we received after Argo won Best Picture. He certainly seemed a little shaken when Grant Hezlov was speaking. We can’t say we were surprised by this win (in fact, we totally called it), but Affleck seemed genuinely in shock. We’ll attribute his weird wife-thanking to that. 


Speaking of shaken, how freaking adorable was Jennifer Lawrence? The girl looked like she was about to barf with happiness. But can we talk about Hugh Jackman running to help her up after she tripped for a second? THE BEST. Here’s a gif, in case you missed it. 

After last night, we think it’s safe to say that Adele (at only 24 years old) is on track to win an EGOT and we can’t think of anyone more deserving of this honour. What a delightful human she is. Can you believe that she and Taylor Swift are the same age? Anyways, Adele is awesome and makes us feel very unaccomplished, but we don’t even care.




And finally, KStew & JLaw! Just a couple of besties hanging out on the red carpet. SWOON. (Ed. note: the swoon is also contentious on the fourth floor).


All photos are courtesy of Just Jared

Rave: Oscar Predictions

Hollywood’s big night is just days away – the 85th Academy Awards take place this Sunday, February 24. As the entire awards season leads up to this, anticipation is high. If you give a hoot about these awards, then you’ve likely got an Oscar pool you’re participating in (we highly recommend entering Lainey’s annual pool for some kickass prizes). While we aren’t going to reveal all our picks today – because duh, we want to win, too – we will share our insight into the nominees and the evening, in general. 


The BFF Connection


Wonder if Matt is jealous of George?



If anything has become evident this awards season, it’s that Best Picture is Ben Affleck’s to lose. Argo has been riding a massive wave of dominance, which is partly attributed to Affleck’s Best Director snub, partly because of the “perfect family” show he and wife Jennifer Garner have been putting on the past few months, and a lot due to his bestie and co-producer George Clooney. Clooney knows how to play the game and he’s been pressing a lot of flesh on behalf of Argo. Who could resist the Clooney charm? Not us, that’s for sure. The only real question left to ask is, will Clooney bring girlfriend Stacy Keibler with him to the Kodak? That would be two trips in a row, a new record. 

Tightest Races


Classic moments from JLaw & Bette.

There are a few categories that are way too close to call, among them Best Director and Best Actress. Also, Best Actor. We know, you’re all thinking “oh hey, who can challenge Daniel Day-Lewis? Nobody.” and yes, you’re right. But maybe, just maybe… Hugh Jackman can rip the bald statue out of DDL’s hands? That would be an upset. For Best Actress, we’re saying it’s between Jennifer Lawrence and Emmanuelle Riva. We love JLaw, but this won’t be her last time at the Kodak. Can’t say the same for Riva (sorry!). Finally, the most contentious category: Best Director. After the high-profile snubs of Affleck and Kathryn Bigelow, we weren’t sure what to think. Still don’t, to be honest. The power of Harvey Weinstein has us leaning towards David O. Russell, but Steven Spielberg and Ang Lee are also strong candidates. 

Locked Down


Shaved head + singing cry face = OSCAR!



We’ve already called Argo for the Best Picture win, but we’re sure you’re wondering what other categories are a lock. While there’s always a chance Academy voters will go rogue and have a change of heart, calling Anne Hathaway for the Best Supporting Actress win is about as close to a sure thing as you can get. Considering Amour was nominated in both the Best Picture and Best Foreign Language Film categories, we’re also pretty sure that Amour will take the non-English category. 


Lowered Expectations


Stewie! 

After the excitement of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosting the Golden Globes, we just can’t muster up much enthusiasm for the Oscar’s host, Seth MacFarlane. Don’t get us wrong, we love Family Guy and were thrilled to hear some of the show’s writers were contributing to the Oscars. And while MacFarlane is a talented vocal actor, we always want a little bit of Broadway (i.e. singing and dancing) in our telecast and don’t know if he can deliver. Not to mention, he’s already claimed that this is a “one-time thing” for him. Doesn’t really engender the most confidence. 


Magic Oscar


Please God, let this happen on Sunday. 



This year’s show has an impressive list of presenters and special guests, including the cast of The Avengers (Robert Downey Junior, Mark Ruffalo, Jeremy Renner, Chris Evans and Samuel L. Jackson), Barbara Streisand, Adele, Nicole Kidman, Paul Rudd, Jennifer Aniston, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Channing Tatum. There’s so many things we want to know! Is Babs going to sing? Will Aniston bring fiance Justin Theroux with her? How does Clooney feel about Theroux?  Are Kidman and Naomi Watts still besties? And, most importantly, is Channing Tatum going to take off his shirt? 

Rave: Magic Mike

When we were offered tickets to check out the premiere of Magic Mike (courtesy of Warner Bros.) we jumped at the opportunity. A rom-com combined with a good-looking cast about an all-male revue? We’re in. 



Off we went, popcorn in hand along with our good friend Paul to check out the flick. Below we give you a he said/we said review of various aspects of the show – as we don’t want to give too much away!

On Channing Tatum:
He said: “Loads of charm,
and a hint of that deceiving bad boy-actually-good attitude that just
won’t quit, much like his ass. Obviously, the best dancer and, yes, when he
dances it’s like you’re watching Step Up 2: The Streets one though.”

We said: “We didn’t blink. Between his dancing and abs, he had us at ‘hello’. Well done, Channing. Well done. Now, take your shirt off.” 

On Cody Horn: 
He said: “The role of Brooke (Cody Horn), The Kid’s sister and
Mike’s love interest, might as well have been cast with Kristin Cavallari. I
mean, I just can’t deal. Olivia Munn, who plays risky bisexual Joanna and has
an affair with Mike pre-Brooke, might as well have taken the entire lead to
herself.” 


We said: “Meh. She didn’t do it for us as a female lead. Between her permanent frown/scowl and no-fun attitude, we just couldn’t figure out why this (hot) stripper with a heart of gold was going for a girl like that.” 
Nudity:
He said: “There is a ton of butt cheeks, and bare chests. A few
boobs for good measure. But sadly, the only penis you get to see is almost out
of focus and in a pump. (Yes, a penis pump.)” 


We said: “It was done as tastefully as possible. There was serious eye candy and come on, we are talking about male strippers here.”


Performance
sequences: 
He said: “The ‘performances’ keep the movie afloat because – hah
– as if you would come for anything else. There are some bigger numbers, and
none will bore you. A big plus: smaller montages give a glimpse into the
various acts they perform, each based on traditional male archetypes:
firefighter, doctor, cop, basketball player, etc. Sometimes, you don’t even see
them take anything off. Expect something like this
 and this.
Actually, it’s more like male burlesque, and heavy on the funny factor because,
well, assless leather chaps.”


We said: “There was a great variation in the routines, which, as dance-based movie aficionados, we can appreciate.  We were particularly fond of their ‘It’s Raining Men‘ routine, with Channing’s solo act to Ginuwine as a close second. We went on a cross-country journey with these guys as we saw cowboys, Tarzan, and hip-hop dancers, (oh my!).” 



Story and script:

He said: Mike describes the appeal of stripping as ‘women,
money and a good time.’ That basically sums up the movie. What they don’t tell
you is that it’s set to a soundtrack of drugs, booze and dubstep. And the
conflict is forced at best because, well, just wait until you see the
ending.” 


We said: “Again, it was a story about a male stripper who discovered friendship and good times but more importantly, himself. Aww.”


Does
it live up to the hype/trailer:

He said: “In the era of easy access Internet porn, the trailer
promised the flick would be visually stimulating. And yeah, it lived up to that
promise in spades but with no real climax. There was no promise of a real story
either, so that checks out. But once it’s over, it’s over – just like the
trailer.”



We said: “We went in with lowered expectations, especially in relation to the story line. While the plot followed your standard rom-com format, it was a fun flick to watch, despite the whole Cody Horn element.”

Overall
sexiness:

He said: “I would have liked more screen time with the other
guys. Tatum is hot, sure, but you can only look at his face for so long. Also,
director 
Soderbergh sorely under-used Pettyfer and Rodriguez’s sex symbol
potential. And, as I’ve found with male stripping, sexiness is sacrificed for
humor because, well, you decide.” 

We said: “We agree with Paul. More Manganiello, Bomer and McConaughey would have been nice. We also thought Munn was lovely and would have been a better fit for the female lead.”


Final
thoughts:

He said: Soderbergh is Soderbergh, and he tries to
bring his trademark mix of depth, intrigue and action to a script
that simply can’t support it. You can tell he really tries to stylize the film
in his own way with his sequencing and camera choices, but he’s trying to reach
a level of intellect that no one ends up caring about because – hello! – ABS.
If Gus Van Sant directed this, now that would be some grimy hot realness and
we’d be seeing the full frontal. Still, it was fun in a way that Showgirls and
Striptease and Burlesque was fun.”



We said: “It was fun! Soderbergh brought us some good laughs, we danced in our seats, we (almost) cried and we had a good time watching theses abs. We mean dancers. Just don’t expect a sequel. However, we will want to interview Matthew McConaughey’s children once they watch it.” 


Haven’t seen the trailer yet? Check it out here.