Listen, we feel you. We’re sick of talking about the weather too. At this point, we’re seriously thinking about starting a class action lawsuit and make Punxsutawney “Fibber” Phil rue the (Groundhog) day he ever missed his shadow. Last time we’re ever going to listen to a rodent. So yes, we appreciate that it’s confusing to be donning your Canada Goose in the Easter Parade, but this is no excuse for some of the sartorial disasters we’ve been spotting around the city.
The first long weekend of spring! You can practically taste the beer on the patio now.
Whether you celebrate this time with Easter eggs, Matzoh balls, splashing colour on someone’s face or some other way, enjoy this day off by taking a walk outside, scout out some crocuses and be thankful that it seems (fingers crossed) that the snow is gone for the year.
Some people scoff at Hollywood remakes, thinking they are unoriginal and redundant, but maybe some things are just too good to let go of. Okay, so we agree some of them are actually the worst but we are really excited about the upcoming Girl Meets World and the return of Arrested Development. Here are some other shows we believe deserve to be reincarnated:
nanana heyhey! We cannot think of a single reason why there is no longer a
show on TV about teenagers going to high school on a boat. People WANT to see that. It has all the drama and adolescent
turmoil of your favourite teen dramas, with a spicy nautical twist. Also, if
the original Breaker High helped propel Ryan Gosling
into megastardom (um, Young
Hercules?) who knows what young
heartthrobs a new incarnation of the show would produce?
group of extra terrestrials with the same mission we all have – to try and
understand the human condition (deep, right?). We believe planet Earth is ready for the second coming of the Solomons.
A lot has changed since the series ended in 2000 and it would be interesting to
watch the original cast reprise their roles to see how Dick, Sally, Harry and
Tommy would fare in a world with iPods and Justin
Bieber. We would love it if Dick
could rekindle his romance with Mary
Albright (even though he erased her memory, MIB style) and bring back Larisa
Oleynik as Tommy’s love interest. Truth Time: We really just want to see
about this (or LOST for that matter). It would be cool to see a reboot of this classic
set in a modern era. We’re sure a killer
cast could breathe new life to the archetypal characters in a way that honors
the original. What would happen if a
three hour tour went horribly awry in 2013? Would the professor be able to fashion an iPad out of a coconut? Only time will tell.
they/won’t they rumours
about David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson got us reminiscing about our
supernatural sleuth pals Mulder and Scully. Without giving away too many
spoilers to all of you who are only now halfway through the series on Netflix (we feel
you), we are dying to know happened between then and now. Plus, David Duchovny’s
hit Showtime dramedy Californication
was great, but the last couple of mediocre seasons have left that cancellation
axe dangling pretty perilously and we’d just really like to see him settled
(sidebar: only one of those shows is real. Guess which one!) we might have to
cancel our cable. What happened to good
old-fashioned quiz shows and shopping sprees? All this TV show remake needs is a perfect host – we nominate Dustin
Diamond. Until the TV Gods hear our plea, we’ll be stuck running up and
down the aisles filling up carts and looking for bonus prizes.
With the last long weekend of the summer coming up and the season coming to an end, we began to reflect on what a truly awesome summer of cottaging, food, weddings, travels and city adventures it has been. To celebrate our favourite season, we thought we’d share our favourite summer 2012 moments in photos. We hope everyone enjoys the rest of their long weekend!
Perhaps the book of the Bard need not be found in every
hotel room, as the actors at the Classical Theatre Project’s The Complete Works of William Shakespeare exclaim it should be, but we think you should find
yourself catching this show before the end of August MMXII.
wildly successful London parody, a.k.a. The Compleat Wrks of Wllm Shkspr
(Abridged), and found ourselves happily situated at the castle on the hill. The
pithy script is a winner and actors Matt Drappel, Jeff Hanson and Kevin Ritchie
thoroughly exercised their right to improvise. They peppered in remarks on Rob
Ford and Canada’s Olympic performance while commenting on their own need for
laughs with the same self-deprecating humour the Brits are known for.
Juliet to Titus Andronicus the cooking show to Othello the rap song. In dealing with the
comedies, which we were told are actually not as funny as the tragedies, all
the plot lines were tied together and told as one story. The abridged version
of Macbeth was an amusing testament to English sentiments towards the Scottish
and led into the swift demise of the plays Julius Caesar and Antony and
Cleopatra. The histories became a football match, likely the first one that has
made us chuckle. The show closed with Hamlet. Three times. Once abridged, once
again at breakneck speed and, finally, backwards.
with shows at 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Without a doubt we recommend this show as
the perfect Wednesday evening diversion. We have a few tips to offer as well
(garnered from our own errors as the best advice is). First, arrive early.
Stadium style seating is not available at this venue and you’ll want a clear
view, those seated in the front row also have a more interactive experience.
Second, bring bug spray. The late summer mosquitoes can be quite pesky at
the luscious grounds. Third, be prepared for sore cheeks. Ours still hurt from
When we were offered tickets to check out the premiere of Magic Mike (courtesy of Warner Bros.) we jumped at the opportunity. A rom-com combined with a good-looking cast about an all-male revue? We’re in.
and a hint of that deceiving bad boy-actually-good attitude that just
won’t quit, much like his ass. Obviously, the best dancer and, yes, when he
dances it’s like you’re watching Step Up 2: The Streets one though.”
We said: “We didn’t blink. Between his dancing and abs, he had us at ‘hello’. Well done, Channing. Well done. Now, take your shirt off.”
Mike’s love interest, might as well have been cast with Kristin Cavallari. I
mean, I just can’t deal. Olivia Munn, who plays risky bisexual Joanna and has
an affair with Mike pre-Brooke, might as well have taken the entire lead to
boobs for good measure. But sadly, the only penis you get to see is almost out
of focus and in a pump. (Yes, a penis pump.)”
– as if you would come for anything else. There are some bigger numbers, and
none will bore you. A big plus: smaller montages give a glimpse into the
various acts they perform, each based on traditional male archetypes:
firefighter, doctor, cop, basketball player, etc. Sometimes, you don’t even see
them take anything off. Expect something like this and this.
Actually, it’s more like male burlesque, and heavy on the funny factor because,
well, assless leather chaps.”
We said: “There was a great variation in the routines, which, as dance-based movie aficionados, we can appreciate. We were particularly fond of their ‘It’s Raining Men‘ routine, with Channing’s solo act to Ginuwine as a close second. We went on a cross-country journey with these guys as we saw cowboys, Tarzan, and hip-hop dancers, (oh my!).”
Story and script:
money and a good time.’ That basically sums up the movie. What they don’t tell
you is that it’s set to a soundtrack of drugs, booze and dubstep. And the
conflict is forced at best because, well, just wait until you see the
it live up to the hype/trailer:
He said: “In the era of easy access Internet porn, the trailer
promised the flick would be visually stimulating. And yeah, it lived up to that
promise in spades but with no real climax. There was no promise of a real story
either, so that checks out. But once it’s over, it’s over – just like the
We said: “We went in with lowered expectations, especially in relation to the story line. While the plot followed your standard rom-com format, it was a fun flick to watch, despite the whole Cody Horn element.”
guys. Tatum is hot, sure, but you can only look at his face for so long. Also,
director Soderbergh sorely under-used Pettyfer and Rodriguez’s sex symbol
potential. And, as I’ve found with male stripping, sexiness is sacrificed for
humor because, well, you decide.”
We said: “We agree with Paul. More Manganiello, Bomer and McConaughey would have been nice. We also thought Munn was lovely and would have been a better fit for the female lead.”
He said: “Soderbergh is Soderbergh, and he tries to
bring his trademark mix of depth, intrigue and action to a script
that simply can’t support it. You can tell he really tries to stylize the film
in his own way with his sequencing and camera choices, but he’s trying to reach
a level of intellect that no one ends up caring about because – hello! – ABS.
If Gus Van Sant directed this, now that would be some grimy hot realness and
we’d be seeing the full frontal. Still, it was fun in a way that Showgirls and
Striptease and Burlesque was fun.”
We said: “It was fun! Soderbergh brought us some good laughs, we danced in our seats, we (almost) cried and we had a good time watching theses abs. We mean dancers. Just don’t expect a sequel. However, we will want to interview Matthew McConaughey’s children once they watch it.”
First thing’s first: Don’t underestimate the power of a brisk walk to warm up and post-run stretching. This article from the Globe and Mail notes pre-run stretching can be counter-productive and compares stretching to piece of gum. “You put it in your mouth and chew it for 10 minutes – then take it out and stretch it. Voila! It stretches with ease. Take that same piece of gum out of your mouth and put it on a table, then try to stretch it 10 minutes later when it’s cold. It stretches with resistance and snaps. Muscles work very much the same way.” Try these post-run stretches from Huffington Post.
Next, have realistic expectations and set a goal. You will not be able to run 5k right off the bat, and if you try, you will most likely never run again. Ease yourself into it with an app like Couch to 5k, a running program designed to get just about anyone from the couch to running five kilometers or 30 minutes in just nine weeks. It alternates walking and running intervals, gradually increasing the run over nine weeks, until you are able to run 5k or 30 minutes non-stop. RunKeeper is another cool app that lets you enter a target pace at the start of your activity and get coached on whether you are ahead/behind that pace through your headphones, along with tracking how far you went, how long it took you, and the route you travelled.
Running is easy on the wallet given it’s free and you can do it just about anywhere, but we do recommend investing in a quality pair of shoes, if nothing else. A good pair of shoes will absorb the impact on your bones and joints, saving your knees and shins. We like Reebok Runtone – the airpods on the outsole create micro-instability, activating your muscles as you stabilize yourself, while the synthetic mesh offers breathability for your feet.
Something else worth investing in, especially for our larger-chested friends, is a decent sports bra. Our friend at Happy or Hungry who has big nungas herself (as she calls them), has done the research and recos the Ta Ta Tamer from Lululemon. Cheaper bras are okay for strength training and yoga, etc. but you’ll definitely want to keep strapped in on the run, so it’s worth the trip to Lulu.
Some other easy ways to enjoy your run include making a killer playlist (try not to listen to these songs until your run so you are pumped when you hear them!), listening to an audio book, or catching up on Mad Men (when on the treadmill). Basically, make your run interesting so you’re not focused on the hard parts. Switching from the treadmill to an outdoor jaunt can help too – a change of scenery can do wonders.
And remember: You don’t have to run fast. You just have to run.
Last week, we had the exciting pleasure of heading to a special wine tasting of Argentinian wines, to celebrate Malbec World Day. Naturally, we jumped on the opportunity to taste a plethora of delicious wines, all in the name of research for the fourth floor.
We were surprised to hear about all of the varieties of wine that come out of Argentina. They’re best known for their Malbec grapes, but have some amazing Torrontes, Chardonnay and even a tasty sparkling wine.
A little history lesson: the Malbec grape was introduced to Argentina from the south of France about 160 years ago, and it immediately began to thrive in the dry, mountainous landscape.
The grapes grew like crazy and are now found all over the country, making Argentina one of the world’s biggest producers of the varietal. Canadians are the second biggest consumers of Argentinian wines, just behind the U.S. Because of the varying altitudes of Argentina – grapes are grown from below sea level to about 1,000 metres above – Malbec grapes show quite different characteristics and flavours, depending on the region they’re from.
Back to the wine. We tried a whopping 18 varieties (there was a lot of spitting involved, so that we could make it back to the office in one piece), and most of them were delicious. Malbec wines from Argentina are rich, complex and have a pretty, deep red jewel hue. Some winemakers add a bit of another grape, like Cabernet Sauvignon, to create something uniquely Argentinian. Of the six whites we tried, the aforementioned sparkling, the Dominio del Plata ‘Crios’ Torrontes ($14.95) and the Trivento ‘Amado Sur’ (a blend of Torrontes, Viognier and Chardonnay; $15) were our favourites. Each wine was fruity, slightly floral and crisp, perfect for any upcoming summer event.
We also loved the Kaiken Ultra Malbec ($19.95), which was made richer and deeper with the addition of Cabernet Sauvignon grapes, as well as the Dominio Del Plata Ben Marco Malbec ($20.95; seems like we’ll need to visit this winery the next time we’re in Argentina).
Here on the fourth floor, we love our yoga. What we don’t love is fellow yoga-goers who don’t respect the peace, tranquility and silence (!) of the space.
As much as we learn to focus internally, have a clear mind and not succumb to distractions – when the person behind you rips up their mat or casually walks out for a bathroom break, it really grinds our gears.
Having dabbled in moksha, ashtanga, hatha, yin and a myriad of other practices (you might call us ‘yoga tourists’ – we’re still settling on studios and types of yoga), we compiled a pretty robust list of yoga pet peeves from our combined years of experience. We’re sharing this so hopefully others will practice good karma and respect the space and people around them.
Tiny change rooms
While we’ve been making our rounds of the city’s yoga studios, we’ve noticed that there’s one thing in common to all: tiny, cramped change rooms.
To make matters worse, classes start and end back-to-back, so everyone is cramming into the room at the same time. If studios can’t expand their room sizes, we’d suggest posting the following sign “Dear fellow Yogis, please respect the following rule when in our tiny change-room: THE NAKED GUY/GIRL ALWAYS GETS THE RIGHT OF WAY. Thank-you, management”. That should help solve those awkward brush-bys.
- Older men that wear too short shorts. Distracting, and not in a good way.
- Deep breathers! There’s always one person who goes too far with the yoga breathing and it’s really distracting.
- Farts. Obviously. It might be the only good reason to excuse yourself from a class.
- Cell phones. TURN IT OFF BEFORE YOU COME IN.
It comes up every once in a while, causes a little controversy, and then goes away: Women Aren’t Funny. Up here on the fourth floor, where quips and jokes can fly fast and furious, we beg to differ. Hence, today’s Rave: the funny ladies who make us laugh and reinforce our opinion that women can be hilarious.
|What would you give to be a part of this club?
|Here’s hoping Kristen Wiig has started writing her next comedy and includes this cast.
The original queens of comedy
Funny women are nothing new, they might just be getting a little more credit these days. Some of the indisputable comediennes who led the way still make us laugh: Lucille Ball and her slapstick antics; The Golden Girls who spent seven seasons reigning the ratings as a quartet of funny, older women living together; and Jennifer Saunders, because Absolutely Fabulous taught us it’s perfectly acceptable to have a fridge dedicated solely to champagne.
|Thank YOU for being a friend.
Funny in print
Pick up one of these books, and become the crazy person laughing out loud on the subway. Bonus points if it’s on an e-reader and no one can see what you’re reading. Bossy Pants by Tina Fey, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (and other concerns) by Mindy Kaling, and Are You There Vodka? It’s Me Chelsea by Chelsea Handler are a few of our faves. Laughs guaranteed.
What other funny women make you laugh? Tweet us @rockitpromo.